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Thursday, July 14th, 2011 15:18
Sorry I haven't been around much, getting things finalized with the move across the post and such was a nightmare, and to add to that, my husband's now in NCO school, which means I'm getting irregular sleep what with having to get up at 4 most mornings to make sure he gets there on time.

He doesn't have his license yet, though as soon as he gets out of this stupid course, I'm taking him straight to the DMV... I've been out of the military too long to be able to handle sleep deprivation with anything approaching grace, and while I'm able to go back to sleep by 530, it's never as deep as it was before I was woken.

I'm also utterly alone in my house, and while I'm partly grateful for that, I'm not used to it. For two years I lived with my sister and her family, which meant that even when I was alone, I wasn't alone, what with someone else being in the house all the time. I miss her kids (even though I just saw them yesterday and the older two think it's high time I never come back, ever, which irks me to no end) and I miss being around other people. I'm going to have to get used to the fact that this is my house and that I need to be able to be alone again. Everything's too quiet, even if i have music or a movie on in the background.


We just got internet in the house a couple of days ago, and the speed of it is amazing, especially since we bought the speed-boost upgrade from the cable company and a speed-boost router. It's like being directly next to things I want to see instead of having to wait a few minutes like I used to.


I'm trying to make friends in the neighborhood, but I'm not a very social person in my personal, real-real life, and so it's hard for me to just find someone and become friends. Thankfully, the hubby's sergeant has a wife who's very nice and we're quickly becoming friends. And she makes amazing enchiladas.

I just feel like the house is too big for me, even though I'm used to living in bigger. this is only a two/three bedroom, and my sister's house is a five bedroom with a lot of space, but because it's just me and him here, it's more like this house is bigger than that one, if that makes any sense. I'm grateful for the breathing room, but also a little tired and sad because of it... I'm not sure that made sense.

I can tell from just today that I'm going to need to make myself go out and do things, to keep myself from dropping into a depression again. I like being alone, but I hate being by myself, and there's just not that many places to hang out in on this side of town, and I can't bring myself to head over to the other side or even just walk around Walmart (budget's an issue with that last one, since I actually have to worry about things like groceries and gas now).

So I guess what I'm saying is I'm too down to write (even though I'm entered into the [livejournal.com profile] ficfinishing  round this month) and I want to start on my BB (I realize that July's a little late, but when I'm in the mood, I write a hell of a lot at a time) but I can't seem to get the energy. I hate being a social creature and yet not liking to socialize, and it's affecting everything else. I should get up and clear out our living room (all of our Magic cards are everywhere since we're building new decks based on the Pre-launch for the newest set that's coming out in August) and start making headway on the spare room, setting up the other tv and such, but again, the energy is lacking.


and wow, this was a really long almost-whinging session. I need a life, apparently lol.
Thursday, July 14th, 2011 21:33 (UTC)
*big hugs* I'm glad that there are things going well with you and your family, but yes, I know that it takes a while to get used to the quiet :) However, you are amazing, and I KNOW that it will go fine :)

Cross my cold black heart :)
Thursday, July 14th, 2011 21:50 (UTC)
*hugs*

And your heart isn't cold and black! It's warm and purple and fuzzy. I touched it last week, I swear! *giggle*
Friday, July 15th, 2011 02:11 (UTC)
*hugs you*
I don't do alone well either darlin'. We actually got our first pet for that very reason.

You just need to socialize in small circles where you feel secure. I'm glad the sergeant's wife is nice and when she invites you along somewhere, GO! It will get better, but you have to help it a long a bit.
Friday, July 15th, 2011 02:43 (UTC)
I fully intend to, if she asks, but we're both in the same boat right now. She just moved here from Florida, so there aren't that many people that she knows, and the only people I know are my sister's friends, with whom I don't share that much because of our age differences.

Krys is only 2 years older than me and we have a lot in common, so hopefully we will find more people to hang out with.

I'll always have whatever gaming group my husband and I fall in with to go to, if worse comes to worse.